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michelleobama

Couples that need to tour together

Beyonce and Jay Z have announced their On The Run tour which will see the two travel the US together for the first time since they got together and became the tour de force of the music industry. Crazy and Drunk in love, the self-proclaimed Bonnie and Clyde ‘03 will likely deliver shows that make everybody feel that their current and future relationships are not worthwhile.

Following a well-trodden path laid out by Sonny and Cher and Ike and Tina Turner, Mr and Mrs. Carter are not the first couple to tour together and won’t be the last. We’ve compiled a list of a few couples we believe would make just as worthy tour buddies- for better or worse.

Barack and Michelle Obama

Kermit Cintron vs Walter Mathysse

Who better to rival the first couple of music than the President and the First Lady of the USA. While the pair are not specifically known for their music, each of them have proven ability. Barack infamously sang Let’s Stay Together before his 2012 re-election while Michelle is an avid dancer. Alongside Beyonce, she’s shaken her booty around the country with her Move Your Body fitness campaign and would be the perfect candidate to accompany Mr. President’s soulful crooning. With Barack’s final term in office coming to an end, they will need something else to do. George Bush turned to painting, the Obama’s can turn to Arena RnB.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian

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Kimye on tour = dollar signs. West is a formidable, stadium rapper and Kim is, well, anything but. In 2011, she released a heavily auto-tuned debut called Jam but nothing has followed since. It’s time she re-lit that flare for music on stage with Yeezus. There would be a live rendition of Bound 2 while she would have to dance alongside Kanye rapping “My trophy on that Bound bike, I gave you only pipe / If people don’t hate then it won’t be right” in I Won. It would be awkward, arrogant and feature plenty of booty. Get me my Gold Meet ‘n’ Greet ticket now.

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban

Kermit Cintron vs Walter Mathysse

If we can’t get a live duet of Something Stupid between Nicole and Robbie Williams then this will have to do. Nicole’s performance in Moulin Rouge had her belting from Parisian rooftops while Keith’s polite country tang caters for the daggy Mum in everybody. We imagine the Urban Nicole tour being produced by Baz Luhrmann and landing somewhere between a country hoedown and Bewitched. If it didn’t end with an encore including Islands in the Stream, then everyone would be handed refunds.

EDIT: Our prayers were answered. Amazing.

Rihanna and Drake

Kermit Cintron vs Walter Mathysse

We haven’t read Perez Hilton of late but last we heard these two were dating. Rihanna has already toured with Chris Brown so a joint tour would be the best way to consummate their new found love. They’ve already featured alongside each other on Take Care and What’s My Name, so a joint set list wouldn’t be a stretch. Rihanna could stand next to Drake during his set and hand him tissues as he wallows in self-pity about how he started from the bottom AKA. Degrassi.

Calvin Harris and Rita Ora

Kermit Cintron vs Walter Mathysse

This is very scarily a possibility. The dance king and pop princess worked together on Rita’s latest single, I Will Never Let You Down, which would probably be the name of the tour, just to reassure people that they’re committed. Harris would pump out pulsating beats while Rita would try her best to sing Rihanna’s part in We Found Love before realising that she’s still a good girl, caught in the awkward phase before the good girl goes bad. #badgalriri

Matt Bellamy and Kate Hudson

Kermit Cintron vs Walter Mathysse

Muse frontman, Bellamy, is no stranger to Arena rock. Kate however, although used to the bright lights, is a less than competent musician. That’s exactly why this has to happen. She last tried her hand at singing in the film, How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days, proving that she’d be perfect for screeching the guitar riff of Knights of Cydonia or humming the piano line of Starlight. Given Muse’s self-indulgent Coachella performance, her version of You’re So Vein would be a perfect addition to the set.

Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne

Kermit Cintron vs Walter Mathysse

If this prediction comes true, then the(in)terns were the first to break the news of an impending apocalypse. Imagine Chad Kroeger’s concrete laden vocals alongside Avril’s bratty chanting and then imagine the two of them serenading each other at a piano to a lounge version of Sk8er Boi. It would be the worst thing to happen to audiences since Ke$ha toured with Pitbull, made even worse by the fact that there would be possible canoodling.

 

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How the Brits won Coachella

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The Americans have always been traditionally cold on the Brits. While The Stone Roses and Blur headlined the festival last year, The Stone Roses pulled a paltry crowd proving that Americans just weren’t that interested. A year has gone by and it seems that the US crowd have become infatuated by the artists from over the pond ever since.

Calvin Reigns Supreme

Of course, the prevalence of EDM in the US currently has a lot to do with it. Scottish DJ/producer (that’s British really, isn’t it?) Calvin Harris impressively pulled the second largest crowd in Coachella history. The sounds of Florence and the Machine and Ellie Goulding permeated his set, providing hands in the air sing-a-longs to songs that barely scratched the surface of the US charts only a little over a year ago. It was proof that while EDM may be losing its mainstream appeal elsewhere in the world, America is still well and truly in love with it.

It’s quite an experience to see a field once filled by fans of Red hot Chilli Peppers, Arcade Fire and Tupac (albeit delivered by a hologram) being shredded by bass-heavy EDM sounds.

Ellie is queen of the desert

Ellie Goulding found success in the US with her track, Lights, which reached the top ten- a rare achievement for a British female artists in 2010 (apart from Adele). Goulding filled the famous polo grounds, providing a much-needed anthemic pop moment on the first day. As a well polished pop star, she surprisingly fit the Coachella mould well, thumping drums and sending the set home with an inspired guitar solo. The US may have Rihanna and Katy Perry but Goulding radiated an air of ability that the crowd lapped up. Finisher, Burn, was enough indication that despite not being born in the hosting country, Goulding has the goods to reach pop queen status in the US- perhaps the first female Brit in as long as we can remember.

Brits show-off their electronic music prowess

Countless British acts joined the Coachella line-up this year and the crowds flooded in. The most notable was Disclosure who mustered a mighty crowd on the Outdoor Stage both weekends. Their set was a star-studded affair, colliding a European aesthetic with US appeal. They were joined by Sam Smith, AlunaGeorge and Mary J. Blige. Blige was a timely example of the happy medium that has been met between American R&B and the British deep house dance culture. The two melted together, stirring the crowd into a mix of hip-hop induced grinds and EDM fuelled fist pumps. The energy garnered during the set made it hard to imagine the Disclosure brothers generating the same excitement at a British festival.

Rudimental have had mass exposure in both their homeland and in Australia, however, the US have not welcomed them into the mainstream quite as much. You wouldn’t have known from their Coachella set. Their drum n bass-heavy rampage had the crowd in fits. In another example of the America/Britain meld, the Rudimental gang pulled out Lauryn Hill for a drum n bass twisted version of Ready Or Not.

AlunaGeorge also impressed with a set made up of a good portion of new material. The new tracks carried a heavier hip-hop weight seemingly tailored at an American audience. Given the crowds reaction, there was no reason for them to doubt the aesthetic of their previous work as it received just as an excited reaction. A bassed up version of Lost & Found was a particular treat, along with Disclosure’s White Noise.

Muse’s over-the-top Saturday night headline

Muse seemed to fit like a glove with an American audience. Their Global financial crisis-inspired set was anxious, speculative and dramatic, straight out of The Wolf of Wall Street. Actors on stage ate money, drank gasoline and contended with rampant flames that shot out. While many may have thought the theatrics were far too much, majority of the audience remained fixated. Songs like Time Is Running Out and Knights of Cydonia boded well for them as did the literal visual portrayal of Uprising which saw Matt Bellamy lifted on a forklift above the audience.

While the near two-hour set was seemingly a critique of America, the crowd was more interested in the howling vocals and screeching guitar riffs than their nationalistic pride. For their debut headline at Coachella, the band gathered a healthy cluster of screaming punters, proving that it wasn’t just the Yanks creating vivid memories on the main stage.

2014 Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival - Day 2

 

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Coachella Dos and Don’ts

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Coachella Weekend Two is upon us and those who are lucky enough to get their hands on the hottest festival tickets of the season are gearing up to face the best weekend of their lives. Notoriously cursed Weekend One turned out sun, sandstorms, Gwen Stefani, Beyoncé, the epic headliners Arcade Fire and comeback kids Outkast. So, with Weekend One done and dusted relatively injury free, let’s learn from their mistakes and don’t fuck it up.

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Do: Ooooh and Ahhhhh at the celebrities

This is one of the only festivals where celebrities brave it to walk amongst us plebs in the light of day (minus the epic security entourage). Best advice, buy VIP tickets. Worth the price if you want to rub shoulders with the rich, famous and D-class celebs. Alternatively, you could just go and enjoy the music and not fork out the $1000 in a celeb-spotting fueled moment of spontaneity.

Don’t: Go and talk to them

What do you expect? They are going to turn around and hug you and say, “Hey Jimmy-Jo, so nice to see you! Thanks so much for coming up and disturbing me while I’m with my actual friends, whom I know. Good on you!”  It’s not going to happen. Leave them in peace and respect that they have been paid $20,000 plus, to just be awesome and eat cheeseburgers (cough, Vanessa Hudgens).

Do: Take photos

What the heck. Memories! You may never be there again. We all know that how good would the X-pro filter look with the backdrop of the desert and the Ferris Wheel. Take photos with due care and remember phone batteries do not last these days!

Don’t: Video your favourite artist’s entire set on your phone

A) YOU ARE MISSING YOUR FAVOURITE ARTIST

B) When you try and show it to your mates back home it’s 95% of the time going to turn out fuzzy and inaudible. Plus they don’t give a shit, they weren’t there.

Watch, listen and feel what’s going on around you. That’s what sticks in your memory more than anything.

Do: Show the Love!

This is a new and exciting environment- New people, new vibes and a place where everyone shares the same undying passion…MUSIC. Chat to people in the toilet line, dance with the random next to you because you never know what cool and interesting people you might meet.

Don’t: Mack face in front of everyone

There’s love and then there’s love. No one ones to see you and your boyfriend consummate your relationship on the dance floor. Leave it to the confines of your 1-man tent, quietly. Please, for everyone’s sake.

Do: Make a memorable meeting spot

No matter how hard you may do the “chicken hands”, “Alan….Steve, Alan” or stack on each other shoulders to find your friends, no one wants to lose a mate on the field. Agree on a solid meeting spot as soon as you enter the festival day one.

Don’t: Make your “memorable meeting spot” the Giant Astronaut

Do not be fooled by his size, you are not spacing out – what would appear to be the crème-de-la-crème hotspot, the inescapable Giant Astronaut, makes out to be a hilariously bad meeting spot. Spoiler: This wise guy slowly roams the grounds of Coachella, so it’s best to choose a better stationary giant intimate object.

Do: Make a plan

Ohhhh the clashes! The almighty clashes! It may seem a little over whelming when the set times come out: Muse is clashing with Skrillex, and Pharrell Williams. And oh god! You have to see Flume, you have to see Fluuummmmeee! Print out the timetable, fight it out with your mates, best of three wins. Get over it.

Don’t: Stick to your plan

With more artists, surprise artists and side attractions than ever before, go explore!! Stick to your essentials *cough* OUTKAST, ARCADE FIRE, GIRL TALK *cough cough,* but make leave room for frolicking around the polo grounds of Coachella. Our pick: the Heineken dome. They are churning out some exciting surprise sets, over the whole weekend.

Do: Dress for the occasion

It’s a festival. Be festive. Hats, bohemian dresses, sandals, whatever floats your boat BUT remember it is also in a desert. Warm days and cold nights. Try and pack a bandana, just for the potential of dust storms.

Don’t: Dress like a skank

Do not be fooled into thinking that covering your private parts with a flap of material and two stickers on your nips is acceptable. This is not a trailer park; Coachella is one of the classiest festivals on the circuit and you need to treat it with respect.

Those girls who want to sit shoulders – great for the Coachella after movie – but sheer misery for everyone behind you. Cover your “hoo-haa” please, is that too much to ask?

Do: Flag your tent

There are 90,000 odd people attending Coachella this year, and many of them will be sharing the cosy camping grounds with you. And believe it or not, they may have the same discount green two-man tent you bought from Walmart last week. Flag your tent with fluro, flags, fury toys, whatever floats your boat really or else risk wandering the campsite until next Tuesday.

Don’t: Pass out just anywhere

Do not assume that any piece of unclaimed land, tent or tee-pee is yours to claim. No one wants to come back to the big bad, beer-faced wolf and sleeping in their bed. Do what you can to make it home. Skip, crawl, roll.

Do: Bring Toilet Paper

Trust Us.

Don’t: Hate Girl Talk for stealing all the toilet paper for his set

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Anatomy of a Travel Playlist

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With Easter holidays fast approaching and a substantial amount of music heads jetting off to the U S of A to partake in Coachella frivolities, we, the(in)terns, anticipate long plane, train and automobile rides ahead for many of our readers. Accordingly, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to help you construct the ultimate playlist to accompany the long hauls and sleepless journeys. Here are 8 songs that need to be included on all travel playlists.

The ‘Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow’ Song

Maybe it’s your family, maybe it’s your cat, maybe it’s your bed and favorite granola. Whatever the case may be, one thing assured by all travel plans is that you will inevitably be leaving someone or something you love at home. Pack your bags, put them at the front door, do a couple of last minute checks (do a couple more) and pause for a moment to remember all the good you have to come back to.

The ‘Lets Get This Party Started’ Song

Enough of that. Lets blow this joint!

The ‘Everyone Knows the Words to This Bad Boy’ Song

Because, Beyonce.

The ‘Where the snacks at’ Song

No matter how long the journey, snacks are a must. There’s something strangely hopeful about catching that first whiff of a sweet, sweet sugary snack or hearing the first crunch of a salt and vinegar chip, distant on the backseat. Snacks promise a fulfilment on what can often seem like a never ending road or long haul flight… That is until the sugar high crashes and all hope is lost.

The ‘I Never EVER want to Hear This Again’ Song

In years to come, when this song finds its way onto mix 106.5, and it’s library of great classic hits, you’ll be driving your kids down the dusty road to suburbia and its promise of yet another game of soccer, football, netball, <insert cursed extra curricular activity here>, when suddenly you’ll be thrust back in time to a trip you took one Easter break with your BFFs – wait, where are they now? – and reminded of your wayward youth and that time you lived off salt and vinegar chips for 16 hours. This will be your Easter anthem.

The ‘White Noise’ Song

Unlike the bombastic nature of songs 2 through 5, consider this song a bit of a ninja. It’ll sneak in, anonymously fill the cracks of excited conversation with an innocuous hum and without you knowing, soon form the backing track to your journey.

The ‘I’m Going to Take This Opportunity to Contemplate Life, the Universe and Everything’ Song

While road trips lend themselves to countless rounds of eye spy and fun games of who can remain sane the longest, they also lend themselves nicely to sitting back and indulging in a little bit of “me” time. This is a song to break out about midway through your journey; that place happily located somewhere between the initial excitement of embarkation and the frustration that inevitably creeps in when you realise it’s been a solid two hours since you last felt your ass. *Stares dreamily off into the distance*

The ‘Maybe if I Go to Sleep, We’ll Get There Faster’ Song

Born from pure boredom-come-frustration, this track is pure tactic. Put it in on, fall asleep and, just like your own personal time machine to utopia, wake up somewhere free of cramps and the smell of unwashed armpits.

The ‘OMG There’s Only Half an Hour Left Until I Can Stand Up and Do Something About the Pins and Needles in My Ass’ Song

This one is all about anticipation, baby! YOU’RE ALMOST THERE! Almost time to shake ya booty.

Side note: Premature booty shaking should occur in a manner conscious of all safety restraints, road rules, and/ or the person you’ve been fighting over the armrest with since before the dawn of time.

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Our Splendour in the Grass predictions for 2014

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It’s that time of year again. The rumour mill surrounding Splendour In The Grass is running in overdrive and while some acts have confirmed that they will make the trip, many are still just possibilities. Never ones to back away from a guessing competition, we’ve compiled a list of some names we expect to see on the line-up when it is released next Wednesday, April 23.

The Black Keys

The Black Keys still owe Australia. Despite touring Australia nationally in 2012, they cancelled on a heartbroken BDO audience in 2011. With the new album, Turn Blue, on its way, a headline set at Splendour would be a glorious return for the duo.

Chances: Their last festival is Latitiude in the UK on the 20 July- plenty of time to head down under for some Byron sunshine.

Outkast

Outkast are another hot contender for the headline spot. They reunited for their 20 year anniversary at Coachella this month and are set to play over 40 festivals over the globe. There is a Splendour-sized hole in their touring schedule too.

Chances: Lock it in, I’d say.

The Preatures

Straight off the back of a stellar slot at Coachella and an American tour, The Preatures could make a heroic return to Australia capped off by a set at Splendour In The Grass. In the past, Splendour has booked many artists (The Jezabels, Chet Faker, Flume) that have their ultimate live breakthrough and splendour and Isabella Manfredi and co. could just be the next one.

Chances: Count on a mid-afternoon sing-along to Is This How You Feel? In Byron.

Danish pop star, MØ, did a short jaunt around the country last year, however, she is yet to play it a festival crowd here. With her debut album, Mythologies To Follow, out, she could fill a Splendour up and comer slot easily.

Chances: Her schedule says, yes, it just depends on whether she’s Splendour material.

Blood Orange

Dev Hynes is due for an Australian tour. He hasn’t been here since he supported Florence and the Machine in 2012 and with a new album out he’s got plenty of material to flaunt. He’s impressed festival audiences across America and Europe. Maybe it’s about time he did so here.

Chances: Fingers crossed, but no certainty.

Cut Copy

They played Future Music Festival but surely Splendour is their more favoured stomping ground. They killed it back in 2011 and would do the same again in 2014 armed with a whole new bag of tricks off the new album, Free Your Mind.

Chances: Their national tour in May suggests that it may be a big ask to come back again in July but they must be used to the jet-lag by now. It would require a hasty turnaround to play Osheaga Festival the weekend after.

Foster The People

With a new album out, Foster The People will no doubt be trying to fit in a trip down under. Splendour, which they played as youngens in 2012, could be the perfect place for a main stage debut in Australia.

Chances: Every other festival will also be trying to snap them up. Splendour could be too early in the promo cycle.

Duck Sauce

With a new album Quack out next weekend, A-Trak and Armin Van Helden could be up for a jaunt down-under. They would be a perfect addition to the dance line-up and would likely pull a large crowd.

Chances: A possibility if they haven’t already been snapped up by Stereosonic or Listen Out.

Courtney Barnett

Barnett is possibly the biggest Aussie name in the international music scene at the moment. She’s become an NME darling and is booked to play some of the largest festivals on the circuit including Coachella and Sasquatch. It could be a triumphant glory-run, if she returned home for Splendour.

Chances: She has July off so it could be a good chance to pop back home.

Modest Mouse

This one could be a long shot but the band are playing a number of festivals this Summer and have a touring gap to play Splendour. The only way we’d excuse the absence is if they were holed up recording their sixth album. It’s been nearly seven years since their last, We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank.

Chances: Slim but a definite potential none the less.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62zslOQLuQ8

SBTRKT

The masked producer was in Australia last year for a quick visit, but a big festival show is long overdue. Particularly when he has just released a new EP, Transitions.

Chances: He’s playing Fuji Rock in Japan the same weekend. Splendour has been known to share acts with Fuji. Pencil him in.

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Coachella – What’s in store for Weekend 2

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If you missed the stream last week, now’s your second chance to right your wrongs. Week One brought with it a plethora of guest appearances, left of centre covers and euphoric moments. If you’re there on weekend two like us, you have the rare benefit of hindsight. For those who are streaming, you also get to decide who’s worthy of taking up your weekend mornings on YouTube.

Outkast

Big Boi and Andre 3000 had mixed responses last weekend. While their career-spanning set was jam packed with classic Outkast, 3000 seemed to lose interest about halfway through, culminating in a performance of Hey Ya with his back turned on the crowd. Here’s hoping he gets his shit together come weekend two and matches the faultless energy of Big Boi.

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Pharrell

The Man of the moment, Pharrell, put on a star-studded event being joined by the likes of Gwen Stefani, Diplo and Snoop Dogg. While his voice let up, the energy level never dropped as he rolled out hit after hit to a crowd unphased by the dust storm. As his voice drew its final note, he announced that next week he’d be back bigger and better. Well then Pharell, over to you…

HAIM

Haim are the quintessential LA band and so Coachella is the perfect festival for them. There’s really no more to say apart from the fact their debut album is so damn accessible it’s almost impossible for anyone to deny the ear candy coming right at you. On weekend one, Este told the crowd she wanted to hear the sound of ass claps- what more could you want in the Californian desert.

Girl Talk

It’s a surreal experience watching Girl Talk in your bedroom at 4pm on a Friday afternoon with an uncontrollable feeling to dance. Gills is one of the only acts of the weekend who’s energy translated through the YouTube stream. If you’re in the mood for a booty shake, Greg Gills is the most consistent of performer. It’s unlikely he’ll let you down.

Chance The Rapper

At only 21, Chance is probably the biggest new name in rap music. His Coachella set was jam packed with tracks off his fantastic mixtape, Acid Tapes; perfect for a mid-afternoon grind. Last week he brought on Justin Bieber- luck or misfortune, you be the judge.

Arcade Fire

The Sunday headliner is always bound to be a classic but, wow, do they put on a sound. The added disco flavours of Reflektor sit nicely alongside the other three records. Also Blondie came out last week for a cover of Heart of Glass. I wonder if they can top his next week.

Solange

We’re hoping an album is close to being finished but for the time being we’re content with the fact that Solange was the queen of the desert last weekend. She brought on Beyonce at the end of her set for a dance-off but the moment belonged to the quirky sister. She had the crowd in a flurry of movement, particularly with her flagship song, Losing You.

Chromeo

The Canadian funksters had us dancing in front of YouTube on Friday night. They deliver such a high energy set and with new tracks from their forthcoming album, White Woman, to show-off they really took height. Jealous (I Ain’t With It) was a particular stand-out working the crowd into a well-deserved sweat.

 

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Weekend Windback 12/13 April

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Adelaide-born beats wizkid Motez delivers this week’s Weekend Windback with his fresh remix of Madison Avenue’s “Don’t Call Me Baby”. Celebrating 21 years of local label Vicious Recordings, this all Australian re-rub stays true to the catchy mood of the original millennium hit, but adds his own signature bass line and slick modern synth to keep you up and moving.

This ingenious house innovation adds to an impressive list of singles from this bass, fast-rising producer. Cementing himself in the 2014 Aus music calendar, Motez is supporting Disclosure in their Melbourne tour leg this May, and set to release a new EP in April through Sweat it Out.

[soundcloud]https://soundcloud.com/tonicollision/dont-call-me-baby-motez-remix[/soundcloud]

 

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Weekend Wind Back 5/6 April

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Welcome to Weekend Wind Back, the first of our weekly feature in which we find the best remake of a classic song from the week that was and deliver it right here for listening pleasure.

Rounding out this week is Chitown duo, Autograf and their remake of the Marvin Gaye, all American classic, Grapevine. A glitchy rendition laden with steady snaps and heavy on the Nicholas Jaar influence, this remake lets Gaye’s vocals linger, soulfully as ever, over an initially paired back intro before moving full throttle into pure dance territory. More often than not, remakes of such iconic songs have a tendency to lose the integrity of the original beneath thumping bass lines and synth-happy crescendos. Autograf manage to steer clear of this territory in their truly modern rendition of the 1960’s classic.

[soundcloud]https://soundcloud.com/autografmusic/marvin[/soundcloud]

 

 

 

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